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How do I deal with an angry ex-spouse?

For divorcing couples with children, although the relationship has inevitably changed an amicable and appropriate relationship must still take place while both parents work to fulfill their child custody and child support duties. Depending on the nature and character of each spouse, this is often easier said than done. But, regardless of your personal feelings for your ex-spouse, this person is still a parent to your child or children, and both sides must make an effort to keep things as peaceful as possible, despite possible temptations otherwise. Although many divorced couples are able to maintain healthy relationships, some ex-spouses just cannot get over the past, and resentments an anger may still come out. So, how does one handle an angry ex-spouse?

With today's advances of technology, it is easier to maintain communication digitally, whether via text messaging or emails. This can also act as a filter. While phone or in-person conversations leave no time for a person to re-think or change what is said, maintaining communication digitally may allow a spouse time to wait before hitting send, ultimately letting emotions simmer down before sending a regrettable message that may fuel the fire.

If you are dealing with an unreasonable ex-spouse, you may want to take the high road and show some empathy. Show a level of understanding for their situation and plight, and you may be able to prevent or at least minimize the tension. It is also important to stay firm, and to not let bullying or pressure force you into an unwelcome or unwanted situation.

Visitation schedules should be properly adhered to, and both parties should make every effort to see that they are met. Of course, flexibility can help, as unforeseen situations happen in life. Showing flexibility for your ex-spouse may help provide leverage when you need some flexibility down the road. If your ex-spouse is still unwilling to adhere to the legal decisions as dictated by the courts, such as child custody and child support, you may need to get more information about how to make certain your rights are met.

Source: Huffington Post, "5 Ways To Handle Your Hostile Ex," Virginia Gilbert, Feb. 7, 2017

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