Blending any type of family after divorce or separation is usually a daunting task that takes time. Blending from a heterosexual environment to a homosexual one can be difficult if everyone is not on the same page.
First, know that children will feel the energy in a room. A child can sense when you are uncomfortable, and it makes them uncomfortable in turn. Approach every situation as a confident, united front from every side, and watch the children do the same. Also, share responsibilities. If one partner takes a child to school, let the other pick them up. Have all parties listed on school records so that either can give permission or consent when needed. For both partners to be viewed as equal in the eyes of a child, each should participate in everyday activities. In addition, both should take part in extracurricular activities and school functions, offering support whenever possible.
Make sure that everyone who is involved in a child's life, whether teacher, doctor, friend or other, is aware of the living situation. This prevents the child from finding themselves in a position in which they are unsure how to respond or feel the need to be less than truthful. Again, the goal is confidence and a sense of normalcy.
The most important piece of advice to be given when blending same-sex families is to communicate often, consistently and clearly. Keep an open-door policy in the home where no question or feeling is off limits and encourage family discussions. It is very possible for children to thrive in a same-sex relationship environment. All it takes is mutual respect and a commitment to approach every day with an open heart.