You've heard enough horror stories from couples who have been through ugly breakups to know what a bad divorce can be like -- but is there really such a thing as a "good" divorce?
Actually, yes. A good divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you and your ex won't fight or that you'll get 100% of whatever it is you want in the split. Instead, good divorces are generally defined by what they aren't: Unreasonably drawn out and unnecessarily expensive.
How do you get that? Here are some tips:
- Practice civility and kindness: This is not the time to hammer home your spouse's failings. Instead, focus on the idea that sometimes two very nice people just shouldn't be married to each other. Divorce can benefit you both when you're both unhappy.
- Be fair-minded and open: If you go into your divorce like this is a battle and there's only going to be one winner and one loser, you're creating a hostile situation. Go into negotiations willing to be fair and don't try to hide your assets or wealth.
- Consider mediation or collaboration: If you hit a sticking point (or several) in your divorce negotiations, don't be quick to move to litigation. Alternative dispute resolutions like mediation can help you avoid court.
- Look for creative financial solutions: One of the benefits to working things out without a judge is that you and your spouse are generally free to negotiate any financial agreement that's fair. A financial advisor can help you understand your options and may be able to suggest ideas that will take some of the sting out of the split.
No matter what led you to this point, an uncontested divorce is possible if you and your spouse are willing to work together toward an amicable parting.